Although, nowadays, the division of roles between bride and groom is very much up to the individual couple, with many opting for a more equal split, a lot of men are going to find themselves summarily closed off from a lot of the decision-making, especially when it comes to the aesthetics of the wedding. Simply put, a lot of women know precisely what they want their wedding to look like since that’s traditionally been the way it is. That’s not to say that you should be doing nothing but sitting back and relaxing, however. Here are some of the key duties to ensure that you’re taking care of.
Setting the budget
Both of you should take the time to sit down and agree on a budget for the wedding. Not only are you going to decide how much you’re going to spend on what, but you are also going to have to decide where the wedding comes from, whether it’s from savings, taking out a loan, or if you’re willing to accept having some of it paid for if they offer has been made. It’s important to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your finances, especially in married life, so now is the opportunity to get things off on the right foot, talk about it together, and plan well.
Choosing your groomsmen
You are the groom, and the groomsmen are your men. Of course, you can consult with your bride, and talk about if you should invite any members of her family to be part of your party. Selecting your best man is typically a choice for you to handle alone, but you might want to at least run the name past your bride. Hopefully, there shouldn’t be any reason that she would want to say no to the man you consider important enough to give that role to, but you also don’t want to make the decision without at least letting her know about it. It might be your decision, but it’s nice to make sure that she’s included in some part, all the same.
Planning the guest list
Since it’s likely that half, or at least some, of the guests are going to be yours, it’s only reasonable that you’re both there to plan the guest list together. Decide who to prioritise, and who gets an invite, and be willing to cut down on people who aren’t as high on the list if you’re starting to run low on seats. You can also take charge of hunting down the RSVPs, as well as collecting addresses from the people that you want to invite, in case you don’t have them ready. There are apps that can help you send invites and manage addresses a lot more easily through things like your social media contacts list.
Getting the men dressed up
Your future wife might want to play a role in choosing some of the elements of the suit you wear to make sure that it will complement her dress and suit the season as well as the decor of the wedding. However, when it comes to both getting yourself fitted and dressed up, as well as finalising the look of the groomsmen, step up and take care of it. You can have your best man do some of the organising to make sure that everyone knows where they have to be and to get there on time, but it’s fundamentally your responsibility to make sure the groomsmen are, at the very least, dressed for the big day.
Picking out your ring
If you’re not choosing a matching ring with your spouse, then you can do the lion’s share of looking for one that suits your needs best. It might be that your future wife would like some say on what ring you’re going to be wearing for the rest of your life together, but it’s you who will be wearing it, in the end, so take the time to look for men’s wedding rings and pick out a few different styles that you like. You can offer some of the final say on the matter, but make sure that you’re comfortable and happy with it, first and foremost. It’s your finger, after all.
You can be an equal planning partner
If it doesn’t sit right with you to only play a role in some of the planning, and especially only those that personally involve you, then you can always talk to your partner about being an equal partner in the planning. A lot of couples allow those duties to simply slide onto the bride’s plate, keeping up with tradition, instead of talking about the division of labour and making things more equitable. You can be just as helpful when it comes to researching vendors, testing them out, finding a venue, making design decisions, and more. It’s up to you, as a couple, to decide what your priorities are, but the bride will at least appreciate that you’re willing to take on as much as she is.
The post-wedding hassle
Even after the big day is over, you will find that there’s still a little work to do to close the chapter on the whole thing. This can include the nice gesture of sending thank you notes to the vendors, venue, and guests at your wedding. You might also want to ask around the guests to see if any of them took videos or photos, or at least let them know as a group that you would love to have them sent to you, whether by email or through social media. If your groomsmen or someone in your close family rented part of their wedding outfit, then you might want to make sure that those are returned, too.
There are other ways you can play more of a role in planning your wedding, so don’t be afraid to offer, especially if your future wife is getting stressed out with all the planning.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Whether she is researching the latest trends in home decor, life-changing destination getaways, or the best way to maintain your finances, Dewey takes pride in leaving no stone unturned. She is passionate about distilling and delivering high-quality information that you can use to upgrade your life.