How to Involve Your Loved One in Senior Care Decisions

As loved ones grow older, they may require more hands-on assistance or medical care than they used to. Some older adults require 24/7 monitoring and care, which can be difficult for family members at home who also need to manage their careers, kids, and other family members. Thankfully, many types of assistance options are meant to help busy families provide adequate care for their older loved ones. Making this decision is challenging, especially without your loved one involved. When it’s time to discuss adding some helpers to your loved one’s care routine, making it productive and supportive is crucial.

How to involve your loved one in senior care decisions

Choose a Good Time

The most productive and positive conversations happen when everyone is relaxed and in a good mood. Don’t choose a time when you or your older loved one is busy, angry, or otherwise occupied. You’ll likely want to be in a comfortable location like your home or a familiar park. If your loved one has memory conditions or significant cognitive decline, it may be challenging to choose the right time for a conversation. Aim for when moods are the most pleasant, and your loved one is relatively aware.

Keep it Positive

While the conversation may dwell on heavy topics, you don’t want to phrase anything negatively or unpleasantly. Keep the tone light and positive. Don’t make your loved one feel like a physical, emotional, or financial burden. Discuss the positives of adding some extra help to the family. Stress the importance of social activity and friendship at your loved one’s age. With a good community or caregiver, the transition will add positivity to everyone’s life.

Be Honest

While focusing on the positive side of senior care or living options is best, you never want to lie. Be transparent about the reasoning behind adding help to your daily routine. Don’t place blame or make your loved one feel like a burden, but admit your need for extra help for your mental health and their safety. It’s okay to acknowledge that you don’t have the resources to provide the safe and necessary care for your loved one.

Ask for Input

Your loved one’s input is vital in this conversation. You want them to add their honest opinion about finding a senior community or adding a caregiver to their daily routine. Explain all of the available options, their costs, and the pros and cons of each. Ask how they feel about living in a community or bringing a caregiver into the home. Address their concerns and help them explain their preferences. If possible, you’ll want to choose an option that sounds good for both of you. Suppose your loved one isn’t open about the conversation. In that case, you may want to bring in additional help, such as the caregiver themselves, their doctor, a therapist, or other family members—just ensure you’re not making your loved one feel cornered.

Meet With Caregivers

After you’ve evaluated different preferences and options together, you will want to meet with caregivers or senior community staff to get a good idea of how they’ll be treated and cared for. Your aging loved one will get the chance to meet and interact with caregivers to see how they like the transition. Initially, it may be awkward or distant, but the transition will get easier as time progresses. If you or your loved one don’t care about how a caregiver treats you, you can get a good idea of what to look for in the future.

Discuss Finances

Senior living communities or caregivers can be expensive. You may not be able to afford the options they like. Your loved one’s retirement funds may not be able to cover it all, either. For this reason, you both will need to be transparent about the finances and costs of each option to learn what you can afford together. You don’t want your loved one’s care to cover all your expenses, especially when you have housing, food, and families to pay for. Certain facilities may offer financing or aid programs that you can explore together, but it’s good for everyone to know about costs and expenses upfront.

Explore Options Together

Once you’ve discussed what preferences and finances are, you can explore the ideal options together. Meet with and tour care facilities or senior communities. Not all care communities are alike, and reviews can only tell you so much. When you’re touring communities, look for any signs of neglect or security issues. Check reputable websites, like Medicare, to check the ratings of communities. For example, Bria of Forest Edge is rated one out of five stars for serious care deficiencies, including neglect resulting in bedsores. You don’t want your loved one to suffer due to lack of care or neglect. Meet with any home caregivers you’re considering to see if their attitude and personality mesh well with your loved one’s. Perform a background check if necessary.

How to involve your loved one in senior care decisions

Ask Their Doctor

Your doctor is a caring presence in your older loved one’s life who knows the kind of daily care and medical treatment they will need. Your doctor can provide honest opinions and advice about finding suitable daily care options that fit everyone’s needs and budget. You can schedule an appointment with their doctor and discuss their needs. Your older loved one may trust the insight of their doctor and may be more flexible to change according to their suggestions. Be patient; change is hard for everyone, especially for older people.

Updated: October 28, 2024 by Michael Kahn

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