When Travel Customs Clash With Romantic Expectations in a New Relationship

Last Updated: May 5, 2025 by Michael Kahn. Published: May 5, 2025.

TL;DR: Before traveling, ask about local customs, talk about physical affection and social interactions with your partner, consider whether you will be allowed to stay in the same hotel room, and choose destinations that work for both of you to navigate passport privilege.

Understanding cultural norms around dating

According to a recent survey, 32% of women and 37% of men kissed their partner in public before entering college. However, public displays of affection like kissing are not acceptable in some countries. In others, they are discouraged or might even be illegal. Before traveling, ask about local customs regarding dating, affection, and relationships to avoid uncomfortable situations.

Almost a fifth (18%) of newlyweds in their 30s are married to someone of a different ethnicity or race. These people are aware that what is considered romantic or acceptable in one culture may be inappropriate or even offensive in another, and some of them learn it the hard way.

If you and your partner come from different cultural backgrounds, have an open conversation about expectations before your trip. Discuss physical affection, social interactions, and traditions that might impact your time together. This ensures that both of you are aware of potential challenges and can respect each other’s comfort zones.

The significance of communication

The significance of communication goes beyond cross-cultural dating. Just under 61% of participants in a survey of 655 young adults shared that “just talking” was part of building a serious and committed relationship. Just 21.5% said that casual sex was a step in this process. 30.7% stated they believed just talking involved hooking up, 35.6% disagreed, and 33.7% didn’t have an opinion on the subject.

Navigating gender roles

Some destinations may have traditional, if not archaic, views on gender roles or relationships. An unmarried couple staying in the same hotel room could raise eyebrows. An Istanbul hotel recently asked for a marriage certificate before booking a couple, and some African and Asian countries don’t allow unmarried couples to stay in the same room under any circumstances. A couple was faced with this fact on location and navigated the situation by buying a cheap pair of nice-looking rings, and the staff assumed they were married. In every event, being aware and respectful of local norms can help avoid conflicts.

Navigating passport privilege

Political, social, and economic always affect us, and dating someone with a different citizenship and/or nationality can be challenging due to passport politics. Even in 2025, “Western” countries have more privileges to travel without visas. Unless you’re very well-connected, you can’t battle passport privilege, so you should choose destinations that work for both of you. Solid preparation and planning can help navigate passport privilege.

Dining differences

Sharing meals is often a romantic experience, but cultural customs around dining can vary widely. In some places, splitting the check may be unusual. Restaurants in countries like the UK, Canada, and Japan will provide separate checks, but you should warn them in advance. In contrast, the practice is not accepted in China, except maybe among young people. Paying is considered an honor.

Italian restaurants prefer their customers to pay cash, so if you choose a different payment method, they may not allow you to split the check.

Find a balance between customs and personal comfort

Finding a balance between staying true to your relationship and respecting the customs of the place is well encouraged. If the culture discourages PDAs, find other ways to show affection, like private gestures or small acts of kindness. These might include bringing them coffee or breakfast when they’re still waking up, letting them rest while you handle logistics like checking in or ordering food, or carrying their bag when they’re tired.

Recap

• Try to stay cool in uncomfortable situations, avoid getting embarrassed
• View challenges like getting lost as shared experiences, not personal faults
• Use unexpected moments as opportunities to learn more about your partner.