Updated: April 25, 2025 by Michael Kahn. Published: April 25, 2025.
When you’re taking care of a loved one at home, it can be very rewarding, but it’s also a lot to carry. Whether you’re helping a parent, partner, child or friend, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Some days you’ll feel like you’re managing really well and others, not so much. And that’s completely normal! It’s not a job you get to clock in and out of, it’s personal, emotional, and sometimes really overwhelming. But, there are ways to make it feel much more manageable.
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Keep a simple routine
First of all, a bit of structure always helps. It doesn’t have to be rigid, but having a loose plan for the day can help keep things running smoothly. Think about when you’re eating, what you’re eating, when meds are taken and when you need to take five for yourself. Having a routine also gives you something to lean on when everything else feels a little unpredictable.
Start the day with a calm and gentle routine. If your loved one tends to be more alert in the morning, get the important tasks out of the way first. Then you can use the afternoon for relaxation. Or, vice versa if they’re more alert later on in the day.
Don’t forget about you
When you’re always thinking about someone else’s needs, it’s easy to put your own needs last. But, you’re important too! Try to make some time for yourself on a regular basis, even if it’s just ten minutes with a coffee in the garden or a gentle walk. Having little resets like that can help you to regather your thoughts and return ready to give the best care you can.
Consider writing down a few things that help you to unwind. Whether it’s reading or taking a long shower, make sure you treat those moments like an appointment you cannot miss.
Ask for help before it becomes too much
Don’t feel like you’re a failure if you can’t do it all on your own. The truth is, no one can. Even if it’s only for an hour or so, the respite is beneficial for both you and your loved one. And if nobody is offering to help, ask for it! There are also loads of professional services that can step in so you can take a breather.
Look into adult day care programs so that you can take a break on a regular basis. Things like this are more affordable than you might think, and there might even be government help available, depending on where you live.
Keep things organized (without overthinking it)
Organization is never a bad thing, especially when you’re taking care of someone. And it doesn’t need to be fancy either. Something as simple as a notebook, a calendar, or even reminders on your phone is just fine. Make sure you’re keeping track of appointments, medications, and any changes in your loved one’s health. You’ll find it much easier to give medical professionals important information if you’ve got notes written down.
You can also organize things like medication times by color-coding or using weekly pill boxes. Even things like a bag packed with medication, snacks and wipes might come in handy if you ever need to leave the house quickly.
Make use of simple tools and equipment
If there are things out there that will make your life easier, then use it. It might be something simple like a pill organizer, a shower chair or a walker, or it might be bigger things like CPAP machines to help your loved one sleep well. Whatever it is, if it will help, take advantage of it!
There are also things like grab rails for the bathroom, non-slip mats, or raised toilet seats that can help give your loved one a bit of independence where possible.
Pay attention to your own stress levels
It’s no secret that caring can be emotionally heavy. There will be good days, and there will be days where you’ll feel snappy, tired, or flat-out done. Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean that you don’t care, it just means you’re human. Make sure you talk to someone about it, whether it’s a friend, a counselor, or even an online support group. Getting your feelings out in the open can really help with stress levels.
Make sure you keep an eye out for signs of burnout. If you’re always feeling exhausted, get sick more often, or have lost interest in things you’d normally enjoy, then it’s time to make some changes. Whether that’s making more time for you to relax or getting a therapist will differ from person to person.
Keep meals easy
While a home cooked meal is important, you don’t need to cook from scratch every single night. Remember that batch cooking and frozen meals are your best friend when you’re busy and tired. Make sure you keep the pantry stocked with simple ingredients like rice, pasta, canned beans and vegetables. And don’t forget to make sure you’re eating too! It might be easy to skip a meal, but it will take its toll on you.
Not only that, meal times are a great time for bonding. No matter what’s happened during the day, you can sit down with your loved one and enjoy a meal with lighthearted conversation. Sometimes simple moments like that remind you exactly why you’re doing all of this.
Tidy space, calmer mind
If things are strewn everywhere, you’re naturally going to feel more stressed. A calm environment will make everyone feel more settled. That doesn’t mean you need to deep clean the house everyday, it simply means that keeping clutter to a minimum will help you think more clearly.
Keep walking areas clear and set up spaces so that things are easy to reach for your loved one. Add some soft lighting and gentle music and the space will transform into a place where everyone can feel at ease.
Where you can, create an area just for yourself. Even if it’s just a chair by a window so you can enjoy a coffee and a magazine, it’ll be a space where you can decompress.
Check in on how they’re feeling
Not everything will show up as a physical symptom. If your loved one seems quieter than normal or is getting irritated easier, take notice of it. Perhaps they’re uncomfortable but unable to verbalize it or maybe they’re feeling low. Having a small chat, sharing memories, or even watching funny videos together can really help lift their mood. If something feels off, make a note of it and speak to their Doctor.
Trust your instincts
You know your loved one more than anyone else in the world. So, if something doesn’t feel right, even if you can’t explain it, bring it up. Don’t wait until it becomes something serious. Whether it’s a new symptom, a change in mood, or something that feels different, you need to trust your instincts.
As mentioned a few times in this article, jot these thoughts down. It might not be straight away, but it might help connect the dots later down the line. And, it’ll give you peace of mind.
Make space for connection
When you’re taking care of someone in this capacity, it’s easy to forget that you’re also a child, a partner, a parent or a friend. Make sure you have moments that aren’t about taking care of them. Things like watching movies together, playing cards, or even sitting outside in the sunshine together will help keep your relationship strong.
Keep the important stuff in one place
There will be lots of important things that you need to keep safe such as medication lists, medical contacts, insurance details and any care plans in place. If someone ever needs to step in and help, you can direct them to all of that important information. It’ll also come in handy for any medical appointments where you might need to answer things quickly.
It’s also a good idea to take photos of key documents and store them in a secure folder in your phone. If you ever have an emergency visit to the ER and don’t have time to grab the documents, you’ll have all of the important things at hand.
Be ready when things don’t go to plan
Things happen. A last minute appointment, a spill that turns into a long clean-up, a power cut when you’re trying to cook dinner. Having back up plans in place can be really helpful when the unexpected happens. Things like having a list of important numbers or a place to go to eat dinner, a bit of preparation can help ease the pressure.
Also, think about what to do in a bigger emergency. Do you have a contact that could take over if you’re ever too sick to take care of your loved one? Where would you go if the heating went out?
Give yourself a bit of grace. You’re doing something big and important, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. And every small act of care counts more than you know.
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Whether she is researching the latest trends in home decor, life-changing destination getaways, or the best way to maintain your finances, Dewey takes pride in leaving no stone unturned. She is passionate about distilling and delivering high-quality information that you can use to upgrade your life.
